


stars hide your fires

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action, Banter, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Friendship, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5685262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn understands what it means, the way Poe looks at him sometimes; he thinks he knows what Poe wants. Sometimes Finn thinks he wants that, too, but then he looks at Rey and he thinks maybe he wants it with her instead, and it all gets very confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stars hide your fires

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the inevitable OT3 falling in love fic that ate my brain for the past week. I'm not sure how it became such a monster, but hopefully now it's out of my head I can do other things, like maybe appreciate my fandom stocking! Title from Mumford and Sons. (Also, if it's not obvious, SPOILERS FOR THE FORCE AWAKENS.)

Poe isn’t the first person Finn sees when he comes out of the coma, but he is the first non-medical professional Finn sees.

Poe’s breathing is quick when he comes skidding into the room, obviously having been running. “I’m sorry, I was off-base, but I came as soon as I heard, I--” He stops talking and then just looks at Finn, his face breaking into a wide smile. “Hey, buddy. It’s great to see you awake.”

Finn is so happy to see Poe’s face, he can’t even - He pushes himself farther upright in the bed and then winces as his back gives a small twinge.

Immediately Poe is at his side, features awash with concern. He leans over Finn, one hand gripping his shoulder. “Hey, don’t push it, okay? You need to be resting, you--”

“I’m fine,” Finn says, and now he’s probably smiling as widely as Poe was a moment ago. He isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to the feeling that someone cares about him this much.

Poe relaxes, and sort of pets Finn’s arm. “Okay. Okay, good.”

“Where’s Rey? She’s all right? They told me she was all right, but…”

“She’s fine, Finn, she just had to go,” Poe says, his regret evident. “She didn’t want to leave you but the general sent her after Skywalker.”

“They found him?”

“We think so.”

“Well, that’s… that’s good. That’s great.” Finn is happy, he is, he’s happy for Poe, if nothing else. He knows what Poe suffered to find Luke Skywalker. Still, though, he can’t deny his disappointment that he won’t be able to see Rey.

“I guess you’re stuck with me instead, for a while,” Poe says, as if that isn’t enough.

Finn takes Poe’s hand. “I look forward to it,” he says, and is glad when Poe smiles again.

-

Finn hates staying in medical, because it reminds him of times he’d rather forget. It makes him think of impersonal care and reconditioning, of breaking bones and having no one actually care about how he feels, only about how soon he would be fit for active duty again.

It isn’t all bad, though, because Poe visits him all the time. Poe sneaks him cups of caf and sweets from the mess, and teaches him how to play sabacc. Finn is terrible at it, but Poe is patient and gently lets him win sometimes without being too obvious about it.

On the day he’s released, Poe comes to help him. He says, “I can help you find somewhere to stay on base, if you want, or you could just move into my bunk.”

He says it so casually that Finn almost does a double-take. Poe gets his own room. It’s one of the perks of his position. He really wants to give that up for Finn?

“You’d let me stay with you?” Finn asks.

“Sure, as long as you don’t snore.”

“I don’t snore.”

Poe briefly clasps Finn’s upper arm. “Great, no problem then.”

Finn meets his eyes shyly, still not entirely sure he can believe Poe would want this. “You’d give up your space for me?”

“I’d like the company,” Poe insists. “If it’s yours.”

Finn decides he definitely can’t protest that.

-

Finn misses the transmission from Rey. There is a fierce clenching in his stomach when he thinks about it, how much he had wanted to see her and speak to her, even if it couldn’t be in person yet. Rey will always be the first person who believed in him, and the person who made him believe in himself.

Poe tells him all about it, though. He tells Finn about how happy she had looked, happy and safe and relieved, because she’d found him. She’d found Skywalker.

“Next time we see her she’ll be a Jedi Knight,” Finn says excitedly.

“I think it takes a bit longer than that, but sure,” Poe says.

“Right,” Finn says, feeling a bit stupid. Of course it must take a long time, and Rey is coming back soon. Poe had said so. “I’m just glad she’s okay. She looked good?”

“Yes, for the hundredth time,” Poe says, though he seems more amused than annoyed. “The pair of you, you’re ridiculous. Can’t stop worrying about each other.”

“Says the guy who barely left my bed in medical,” Finn teases. “They told me it was you who watched over me when the Resistance moved to the new base, made yourself a nuisance to all the staff.”

“You aren’t allowed to speak to Pava anymore.”

“But Jess has all the best stories about you. Like the one where you decided skinny-dipping--”

“Oh, no,” Poe groans, covering his face with his hands. “That’s it, you can’t be friends with anyone on the base except me.”

“I heard there was an Ugnaught involved.”

Poe is still hiding his face, but he can’t completely block the sight of his reddened skin. “Now would be a good time for the First Order to find us, and possibly put me out of my misery,” he says.

-

The first time the alarms start blaring, signaling First Order ships in the vicinity and culminating in Poe and his squadron jumping into their X-wings, Finn thinks he might actually have a heart attack from sheer panic and worry. The Resistance leaders allow him to stay in the command center so he can hear the transmissions from the pilots, which makes it better and yet so, so much worse at the same time.

When they return, TIE fighters all shot down and everyone safe, Finn runs to Poe in spite of the fact that he’s surrounded by pilots and other Resistance members. Finn doesn’t care, he doesn’t even care when someone - probably Snap - whistles insinuatingly, he just needs to be touching Poe, making sure he’s actually still there.

Poe hugs him back, but he says, “It’s okay, buddy, I’m all right. Not a scratch, promise.”

The background noise subsides slightly, as if Poe’s squadron has moved on to let them have a moment. Finn says, “Will we have to leave now? Hide somewhere else?” He has a desperate fear of the First Order finding him, killing him, or worse than killing him, sending him to reconditioning until he forgets all about Rey and Poe, until he forgets his own name. Until he doesn’t have a name.

“That’s a decision for someone far more important than me, but I don’t think so. They weren’t scouts; they just seemed lost. I don’t think they were meant to be anywhere near here and they just stumbled into us. Too bad for them.”

“Too bad,” Finn agrees, and tries to imprint the smell of Poe’s skin into his memory.

-

Finn definitely doesn’t miss the transmission from Rey where she tells them she’s returning to base. He doesn’t stop grinning at her the entire time, and then he can’t stop grinning every time he thinks about seeing her again. Time seems to tick by so slowly it’s almost at a standstill.

On the day she returns, Poe comes sprinting to find him. “It’s the _Falcon_!” he says. “The _Falcon_ ’s landing!”

And they both sprint together to the tarmac.

When Rey walks down the ramp from the _Millennium Falcon_ , Finn can’t stop himself. He runs to her, scooping her up before she even reaches the actual ground. She laughs as he lifts her off her feet for a moment, lightly pounding her fists against his back and shoulders.

“Finn! Finn, put me down!”

He does, but he doesn’t let go. It doesn’t matter because Rey clings to him, too, and she’s so warm and small and perfect, and he loves the sound of her laugh.

“You came back,” he says.

“You gave me somewhere I could return to,” she says.

They’re just standing there grinning kind of goofily at each other when Chewie appears in the doorway and sort of roars at them. Finn doesn’t speak Wookiee, but he waves at Chewie in what he hopes is a friendly way.

Chewie raises one large hand in return, so Finn must not have done too badly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rey says, who apparently has learned how to speak Wookiee, and she guides Finn the rest of the short distance down the ramp. Finn has so many questions he doesn’t know where to start.

“Hi, Rey,” Poe says as they stop in front of him.

Finn gestures between Poe and Rey. “Should I make introductions, or--”

But Poe is smiling at Rey. “We met during your… incapacitation.” He clasps her shoulder briefly. “It’s good to see you again.”

Rey smiles at him, too, a bit shyly. “Thanks for taking care of him for me.”

“My pleasure. Besides, I owed you, you took care of him _and_ my droid back on Jakku.”

“Hey,” Finn protests, because he thinks he knows the ‘him’ they’re referring to.

They both ignore him. Now that they aren’t clutching each other for dear life, Rey notices Finn’s jacket. “You fixed it!”

Poe shrugs. “Kind of. It’s about half the original thing and half new. Still looks better on him than me, though.”

It isn’t the first time Finn’s heard that comment, but he doubts it as much as ever. Has Poe _seen_ himself? But he always sounds entirely sincere, and the way he genuinely seems to mean it makes Finn blush.

He’s saved from needing to figure out how to respond by Poe, who says, “I can take you to the general. I assume that’s where you’re headed?”

“Yes,” Rey agrees. “I have a message from Luke.”

“He isn’t coming?” Finn asks, though he supposes that’s a stupid question. If he’d been here he would have left the _Falcon_ with Rey.

“Not yet,” is all Rey will say. “Artoo is with him.”

General Organa is in the command center speaking with Lieutenant Connix, but she smiles when she sees Rey and walks over immediately. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

To Finn’s surprise, the two women embrace briefly. “I’m even gladder to be back,” Rey says. She glances unsurely from Finn to Poe.

Poe puts his arm around Finn’s shoulders and says, “Come on, buddy, let’s give ‘em a little privacy. I’ve got an hour, let’s see if we can’t sneak a few pastries from the mess.”

“I’ll find you,” Finn tells Rey, and she nods at him.

-

They have dinner together later, and Poe wrangles Rey extra portions. “Can’t imagine you’ve eaten too well lately,” he says, and Rey simply stuffs her face unashamedly in agreement.

Finn just keeps grinning at her because _Rey._ He thought he’d known how much he’d missed her but it’s somehow amplified now that she’s here, like he’d been trying to shield himself from the full impact of her absence. Now that she’s here, and Poe’s here, the universe feels right again.

“Do you have somewhere to sleep tonight, Rey?” Poe asks.

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess I can sleep on the _Falcon_?”

“You can stay with us!” Finn bursts out with.

Finn suddenly finds himself facing twin stares and realizes he’s said something slightly awkward, especially considering there are only two beds in the room. “I mean, if you want to. And if it’s okay with Poe. I can sleep on the floor?”

Seeming to think that Finn’s proposed arrangement will make Rey uncomfortable, Poe says, “There’s no need for you to sleep on the ship, but I’m sure we can find another room for you, so you can bunk with one of the women.”

Rey glances quickly at Finn and then looks down at the table. “I-- I’d rather not. I don’t want to put anyone out, but is it… I’d rather stay with you,” she finishes in a mumble.

Poe is looking at Rey like she’s a tiny broken animal he wants to cuddle and make better. “That settles it then, you’ll stay with us. And _I’ll_ sleep on the floor.”

-

Finn can’t let Poe sleep on the floor. It’s Poe’s room, Poe’s room that he generously opened up to Finn and now to Rey. It’s completely ridiculous that he should have to sleep on the floor of his own room. Finn tells Poe as much, but Poe flatly refuses to get into the bed. So does Finn.

“Oh for the love of-- One of you get in that damn bed or we’ll _all_ sleep on the floor!”

Finn and Poe both stare at Rey, who continues to glare at them, hands on her hips. Finally Finn relents and gets into the bed, because he knows Poe never will and it would be stupid to let a perfectly good bed go to waste on account of stubbornness.

“Happy now?” he says, and Poe settles on the floor with his pillow and blanket, looking far too smug for someone who’s got to sleep like that now.

Rey is the last one to get settled, grumbling under her breath about stupid, stubborn boys.

As Finn falls asleep, he thinks that he hasn’t felt this happy in maybe forever.

His peaceful sleep doesn’t last as long as he’d expected, though. He jerks awake, not sure why until he hears the noise again.

It’s Poe, making small cries in his sleep from down on the floor.

It’s happened before. Usually it helps if Finn lets Poe know he’s there, that he isn’t alone.

Finn looks to Rey in the darkness, her body in a tense line but her eyes firmly closed, as if she’s awake but isn’t sure she should stop pretending she isn’t. He leaves her be, and sinks down onto the floor next to Poe.

“Poe,” he says softly, putting his hands to the front of Poe’s shoulders. “Poe, it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re having a bad dream.”

He startles, eyes opening wide, pressing at Finn’s chest. “Finn?”

“Yeah, it’s just me. I’m here, okay?” Carefully he lies down next to Poe and wraps his arms around him, lets Poe cling tightly.

They lay like that for a while, and Finn can feel Poe relaxing again. He’s glad that he can help Poe, even if it’s in such a small way, to make up for all the things that Poe has done for him. Finn still isn’t used to being allowed to help people, to comfort them, and it feels nice. He likes being allowed to care.

“Should I stay?” Finn asks quietly, and Poe only nods against Finn’s neck.

“Just get in the bed, both of you,” Rey says, and Finn looks up to see her sitting on her bed and gazing down at them. “It’s more sensible than staying where you are.”

Poe is still clutching at Finn like he’s afraid to let go. The floor really isn’t comfortable, and Finn doesn’t actually want to sleep on it, and he doesn’t want Poe to have to sleep on it either.

“Poe,” he says. “Poe, I’ll stay with you, but I want to sleep on the bed.”

“Okay,” Poe mumbles, and lets Finn disentangle them from each other.

The bed is much better, and Finn smiles at Rey from over the top of Poe’s head as he goes to sleep again.

-

The following night, Finn wonders if they’re going to have the same argument again about the bed.

They don’t. Instead Rey asks, “Do you often have nightmares, Poe?”

“Sometimes,” he admits. “More than usual, since the _Finalizer._ ”

Rey nods, as if to express how logical that is. Then she says, quite nonchalantly, “So you might as well both take the other bed.”

Finn keeps his eyes on Rey because he doesn’t want to look at Poe.

“I mean, do what you want,” Rey says, “but it seems to me you’d be saving a lot of trouble this way.”

Finn makes himself look at Poe, who shrugs. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

Obviously Finn doesn’t mind, so he says, “All right.”

They both sleep in the bed, and Rey’s triumphant expression is only a little annoying.

-

“So, Skywalker’s clearly not a myth, then,” Finn says, sitting with Rey in the grass outside the base. He’s glad they’re still somewhere warm, somewhere he can look up and see the blue sky.

Rey shoves him. “I can’t help what people said on Jakku! Don’t make fun of me, Finn.”

“As if I ever would,” Finn says, mock offended. “But come on, you’ve gotta admit it was funny. Your face was priceless. And you thought Han Solo was just a smuggler!”

“I’m going to tell Poe you’re being mean,” Rey complains, but then she really obviously shifts so the lightsaber at her hip falls into greater prominence.

“Is that a threat? Are you threatening me? Poe!” Finn pretends to call. “Poe! Rey’s threatening me!”

Rey giggles, a loose strand of her hair catching in the wind. Finn reaches out to brush it back behind her ear, letting his fingertips linger against her skin.

“What’s he really like, though?” Finn asks. “Skywalker?”

“More than I could have imagined,” Rey says, and won’t say anything more.

-

Poe takes Rey flying, after he’s done running training maneuvers with his squadron. Rey practically bounces, like an excited little girl, all the way to her borrowed X-wing.

Afterwards, Finn meets them on the tarmac. They’re walking side-by-side in their matching orange flightsuits, carrying their helmets, while BB-8 rolls along happily behind them.

“I didn’t even know flying could be like that!” Rey is gushing. “You’re _amazing_.”

“Oh, no, don’t start that with me. I’ve heard what you did with the _Falcon_ , leaving Jakku.”

“I think that was luck, mostly,” Rey says, but she’s blushing in pride (and maybe a little bit of embarrassment at the attention) anyway.

“Don’t let her fool you, Finn,” Poe says as Finn falls into step with them. “This girl flies like Skywalker.”

Finn just beams at them both because these are his two favorite people in the whole galaxy and he thinks they’re brilliant, and they each think the other is brilliant, too.

-

Finn isn’t sure what wakes him, but he stays awake because the bed is empty. He looks across the room and sees that the other bed is, too.

He feels as though a cold ball of dread is forming inside him. Why would they be gone? Why would they leave? Why would they both leave him?

He stumbles out bed, almost tripping as the blanket tangles up around his legs. He barely manages to throw on a pair of shoes and then runs out of the room still in his undershirt and sleep pants. Once he’s in the hall he doesn’t know where to go.

It’s quiet, as most of the base is asleep. At least that means nothing’s happened. If there had been an attack, there would be people running around everywhere, the halls filled with shouting and noise.

So they’ve just left, then. Finn isn’t sure if that’s worse.

Finally he finds them in the otherwise empty mess, sitting on one of the benches with half empty glasses in front of them, and what looks like a sneaked bag of some kind of chips. They’re sitting side by side, shoulders barely touching, talking quietly.

Finn is so relieved that he can almost feel the weight rising from his shoulders. They’re fine. They haven’t left him. He takes another few seconds to make sure his breathing is calm and normal before he approaches them.

Rey looks up at him first. “Finn!”

“Did I wake you?” Poe asks, concern evident. “I’m sorry; I tried not to bother you.”

“It’s okay,” Finn tells him, and sits on the bench across the table from them. “I just woke up and you were gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Poe says again, and Rey is looking guilty, as if she can imagine how it must have felt for Finn to wake up in that room alone.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she says. “We’ve just been talking. And Poe found food.”

“Secret supply.” He pushes the bag towards Finn. “For special people only.”

Finn accepts it, and contentedly watches his friends from across the table. He’s glad that his fears had been unfounded, and he’s especially glad that his two best friends care for each other enough to take refuge like this, together. A tiny part of him wishes that they had confided in him, too, but mostly he’s only happy.

-

Rey goes back to Ahch-To, to Luke Skywalker, to her training. Finn knew this would happen, but it’s hard to watch her leave anyway. He hugs her for a long while, unwilling to let go, wanting to memorize the feel of her in his arms.

She seems just as reluctant to part, but eventually she says, “Finn, I have to, I have to go.”

So he releases her and makes himself smile. “Next time I see you you’ll be able to kick my ass.”

“I can already kick your ass.”

“Well, you’ll be able to do it faster, then.”

Rey laughs and then she hugs Poe, who says, “Maybe next time bring Skywalker back with you. Pava’s pining is getting ridiculous.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” she says, and steps on the ramp. At the top she stops and turns to wave. “Try not to get into too much trouble without me there to save you, boys!”

Finn and Poe stand and watch until the _Millennium Falcon_ disappears from sight. Finn feels bereft, but Poe slings an arm around his shoulders, his presence a comforting familiarity. At least he’ll still have Poe, during the long days without Rey.

-

The first night Rey is gone, Finn takes her bed. It was the one he used to sleep in, after all. Now Poe can have his own bed back. He doesn’t really want to sleep by himself again, but he can’t think of a good excuse as to why he shouldn’t.

Except when he lies down, Poe gives him this lost sort of expression and then says, “I suppose we don’t have to share. You’ll be more comfortable.”

“I didn’t mind.”

“Really?”

Finn shakes his head.

Poe looks relieved.

Finn wants to say, _we can still share, I want to,_ because it’s true, but he doesn’t know if he should. He understands what it means, the way Poe looks at him sometimes; he thinks he knows what Poe wants. Sometimes Finn thinks he wants that, too, but then he looks at Rey and he thinks maybe he wants it with her instead, and it all gets very confusing. Not to mention that Finn isn’t entirely sure _how_ to have that, with anyone.

So he doesn’t know if it’s the best idea to sleep with Poe, to give Poe the impression that something could happen when Finn isn’t sure if it can.

Finn would have to be stupid not to notice the way Poe clearly wants to resume their previous arrangement, the too deliberate way in which he climbs into his own empty bed. But Poe never pushes, never tries to pressure Finn into anything he isn’t ready for, so while he might want to, he doesn’t ask. He only slides under his covers and says, “Good night, Finn.”

“Good night,” Finn says, and wishes he were braver. He wishes he knew what he wanted and how to get it.

-

“Got a mission in a couple of days,” Poe tells Finn. “Just a supply run. Should be simple enough.”

“You have a team already?”

“Major Ematt agreed I’d just take Pava, probably. Shouldn’t need more than her. And Beebee-Ate of course.”

Without actually having planned to ask, Finn says, “Can I go with you? I can fight.”

Poe seems momentarily taken aback but then understanding passes over his face. “I know you can. I’ll talk to the major.”

“I just want to help. I want to be useful.” He’s tired of watching Poe and the other pilots go out on patrols all the time, waiting for them to return and doing nothing at all helpful in the meantime. The base is constantly busy and while Finn tries to offer his services where he can, it isn’t the same.

“I’ll talk to the major,” Poe says again, gently. Then he adds, “You know, just because you aren’t a pilot doesn’t mean you haven’t been important.”

Finn isn’t sure he believes that, but he is grateful to Poe for saying it. He’ll feel better if he can do something that seems substantial.

-

Major Ematt lets Poe convince him to include Finn in the mission. Finn tries hard to keep cool about it but he can hardly contain his excitement at finally being able to do something real for the Resistance after so much time of sitting around and feeling useless, trying to get by on menial tasks while Poe constantly stays busy being an essential element of the fight against the First Order.

“Great,” Jess Pava says when she’s informed of the change in plans. “Now I won’t have to suffer through Dameron pining without you.”

Finn blushes, but Poe makes a rude gesture at her. Jess only laughs, and BB-8 makes a sort of happy burble that sounds like he’s laughing, too.

Their destination is Sesid, which Poe tells him is a popular planet for tourists. Lots of beaches.

Finn thinks it’s stunning. As the ship comes down through the atmosphere he just stares and stares, watching the islands dotted along the turquoise waters, the large trees and even volcanoes. Poe lands the ship on an actual floating leaf, like a giant lily pad.

“Here,” Poe says, and tosses a pair of shorts and a light shirt at Finn. “Put these on quick before we get off. You’ll blend in better.”

Finn stares at him for a second before Jess grabs his arm. She’s already changed into a flowery sundress and she says, “Here, I’ll show you where you can get some privacy. No need to strip down in front of Mister Perv over here, as much as he might want you to.”

“Hey,” Poe protests, but Jess has already led Finn to the cargo hold.

They spend most of their time planet-side waiting around for the Resistance’s contact, and then waiting around again for the supplies, and then finally sweating while they load said supplies onto the ship.

It’s boring. Poe assures Finn that boring is good.

Finn admits only to himself that he’s kind of disappointed. He’s used to having to run from large disgusting alien things and being forced to use a lightsaber he doesn’t really know how to use.

Okay, so maybe the not being in fear for his life part is okay. But it’s still boring.

“I told you, buddy,” Poe says, clapping him on the back. “Simple supply run.”

“Yeah, like half of our ‘simple supply runs’ don’t end in us running for our lives,” Jess says with a roll of her eyes. “Too bad we can’t even enjoy the sights.” She grins at Finn. “Maybe Poe would’ve taken you skinny-dipping.”

Poe smacks her upside the back of the head, but she just laughs at him.

-

A few days after their return from Sesid, Finn takes BB-8 for his regular diagnostics while Poe sits in a meeting. The little droid beeps nervously, like a man going in for his annual medical check-up.

“It’ll be all right,” Finn reassures him. “They’re just going to make sure you’re running perfectly so you can keep helping Poe. Poe will be so glad to see you doing well when he gets out of his meeting.”

BB-8 seems cheerier at the mention of Poe, and speeds up a little.

Though he’d put on a mask of confidence, Finn is relieved when everything goes smoothly. He doesn’t want to have to be the one to tell Poe there’s a problem with his beloved droid, and anyway, Finn’s grown fond of the little guy.

He’s surprised to meet General Organa in the halls, who nods warmly to him and stops for a word. “It’s good to see you doing so well, Finn.”

Somewhat flustered at her regard, Finn says, “Thanks for letting me stay, after… Well, you know what I was. Thanks for letting me try to help.”

“I know who you are,” she tells him. “Whatever place you have here, you’ve earned it. You have just as much of a right to be here as any of us.”

Finn blushes, the words stalling on his tongue.

General Organa touches his shoulder briefly. “Tell Poe to see me when he’s free, will you?” She leaves, and Finn just stares after her dumbly.

He’ll never be sure what he did to earn the respect of people like Leia Organa and Poe Dameron, but he’s grateful for it all the same.

-

Finn is waiting as Poe speaks to General Organa, asking a few last minute questions about the recon mission to Dantooine they’re set to embark on. He hadn’t even had to beg for a spot this time. A sudden commotion makes him look behind him and then there’s Rey, hurrying towards them.

“Rey!” he exclaims, because as far as he knew she hadn’t had any plans to return just yet.

She spares him only a glance, all her attention on the general. “General,” she says. “General, I need to go with them.”

Poe is watching her in surprise, his expression likely a mirror to what’s on Finn’s face. General Organa, however, seems merely concerned.

“You’ve seen something?” she asks.

Rey nods. “I have to go with them. Luke agreed it would be best.”

General Organa nods in return. “If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s to trust my brother. You leave tomorrow.”

Rey is clearly relieved, her body seeming to relax at the general’s answer. She goes over to Finn, grasping his forearm as if in solidarity.

“Hi, by the way,” Finn says.

Poe says, “So I think it won’t be boring this time, Finn.”

-

“I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time,” Rey confides to Finn as they get set to leave for Dantooine. “I couldn’t see where you were going, only that you needed me, and I was afraid you would be gone before I made it.”

“You’re here, and that’s all that matters,” Finn reassures her. It’s all that matters to him.

“And now here we all are, off on an adventure, just like old times,” Poe declares.

“Except we’ve never done anything like this,” Rey points out. “I didn’t even know you before, and Finn thought you were dead.”

“Yes, but I was with you in spirit,” Poe insists, which makes Rey laugh at him for being ridiculous.

Finn is pretty sure that was the point.

-

The flight passes without incident, unless you consider Rey and Poe’s minor disagreement over who got to be the pilot an incident (eventually settled by Poe’s slightly smug reminder that he’s _Commander_ Poe Dameron, thank you very much). Finn’s opinion of Dantooine after they’ve walked around for a bit is that it’s pretty, but sort of dull. Rey tells them the Jedi used to have an enclave here, a long, long time ago, and then Poe adds that it was an old Rebellion base as well.

So maybe not that dull in the past, but it’s quiet now. Or it is where they are, anyway.

The Resistance wants them to find out why the First Order had been here and what they’d been up to. They’re worried by the First Order’s new presence in the Outer Rim, and what it might mean. They hadn’t expected Poe and Finn to run into much trouble but Finn has his doubts about that, now that Rey’s here. He trusts her instincts.

Poe goes alone to meet their contact, who’s apparently twitchy about strangers, and tells Finn and Rey to make nice with the locals, see what gossip they can pick up. They’re in a street market and it’s all going rather well until it suddenly isn’t.

Rey tenses, as if she’s suddenly sensed danger, and her hand goes immediately to the lightsaber she’s hidden beneath her jacket. “Someone’s coming,” she says, shoving Finn back a second before she’s whirled in place to block a succession of blaster bolts.

Finn swears, knocking painfully into the nearest table, but a bruise is far better than getting hit by a blaster. The locals are scattering and then Rey grabs his hand. “Run!”

Not needing to be told twice, Finn runs. There’s two of them in pursuit now, and Finn tries firing over his shoulder at them a few times, hoping that even if he doesn’t hit them, he’ll delay them a bit.

Poe joins them at the end of the street, likely having heard the commotion. “Two down,” he says, slightly out of breath. “It was an ambush. Lucky the contact didn’t show, I guess.”

Unless the contact was in on it, Finn thinks but doesn’t actually need to say.

“Up there,” Rey says, and starts pushing Finn towards a tiny staircase. “If I can just…”

Finn gets out of her way and Rey holds steady, blocking blaster fire like she’s done it all her life.

One stormtrooper falls, victim to his own reflected shot, and now from a higher vantage point, Finn takes more careful aim. The other trooper crumples.

“Nice shot,” Poe says, and then pulls Finn down the staircase again. “Come on, let’s leave before there’s more of them.”

They don’t meet anyone else on the ground, but there are TIEs waiting for them as they take off. Rey doesn’t fight Poe this time for the pilot’s seat, and instead she immediately joins Finn in manning the guns. Thanks to Poe’s aerial skills and some fine shooting from Finn and Rey (if Finn does say so himself), they make it off Dantooine and into hyperspace without taking too much damage.

When Rey collapses into the copilot’s chair and Finn leans in between both her and Poe, one hand on the back of each seat, Poe says, “Well, mission was a bust but at least we aren’t. Thanks, Rey.”

“I’m glad I could stop it,” she says, and neither Finn nor Poe has the desire to ask her about the haunted look in her eyes.

-

Rey makes it clear that once they return to base, she can’t stay. Luke let her go because she needed to, but he was counting on her coming back to him.

“I understand,” Finn says, even if he doesn’t like it. He was hoping for more time. It isn’t fair that he’s only just gotten Rey back and now she has to leave again.

The fact that she’s becoming a badass Jedi in the meantime only consoles him a little bit.

They sit side by side in the back of the ship, while Poe stays up in the cockpit. He’d told them to get some rest but Finn isn’t tired; he wants to stay awake every second of the trip so he can take advantage of what little time he has left with Rey.

She’s telling him about the Jedi, about her training, about what Luke’s teaching her. Finn just likes to listen to her talk. “Luke told me that the Jedi used to forbid attachments. Marriage, family. They believed that all powerful emotions were meant to be controlled, released... not held onto.”

“Do you believe that?”

“No. Luke doesn’t, either. He said that love is what saved him.”

“It didn’t save Kylo Ren,” Finn says. _It didn’t save Han,_ he doesn’t say.

“No, it didn’t,” Rey says, and Finn knows she’s thinking what he didn’t say.

-

Rey stays one night on base, and it’s her that shares a bed this time. No one verbalizes anything but when Rey sits there in the bed, covers pulled up around her, watching him, Finn just… He can’t. He looks at Poe, who turns away, and then he looks at Rey, small and alone, Rey who’d come because they needed her.

Finn gets in beside her and she scoots over, making space. He goes to sleep breathing in the smell of her hair.

Then the next morning, she goes. “I’ll be back soon,” she promises.

“For good this time?” Finn hates himself for asking but he wants Rey to stay here with him so badly that he can’t help it.

“I hope so,” she says, and Finn knows she means it.

-

Only a few days after Rey leaves, Poe leaves, too. He’s gone for a week, part of the escort guarding a freighter. It’s the longest time Finn’s been separated from him since Jakku and Takodana, since Finn thought Poe was dead.

He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like not knowing what’s happening, whether or not Poe is safe. He doesn’t like waking up alone in the empty bunk without a scribbled note informing him Poe’s just in an early meeting.

Finn’s been forced to be apart from Rey, and that’s hard enough. Now he has no one.

He thinks he’s become a bit codependent. It’s just that he’d gotten so used to finally having _someone_ that he doesn’t want to give that up.

When the Resistance ships come soaring back to base, Poe’s X-wing in the lead, Finn tries hard to contain himself. He’s already made himself look like a fool often enough, he figures. Still, there’s not much he can do against the swell of warmth he feels watching Poe climb down from the cockpit, the breeze catching in his dark hair.

Finn kneels down to greet BB-8 as the droid rumbles towards him, and pretends to be totally preoccupied. He isn’t bothered by Poe’s arrival, not at all. He’s been totally fine on his own. Totally cool.

Poe squats down next to him. “Miss me, buddy?”

Finn can’t stop the grin that overtakes his face, but he can make himself say, “Course not,” tone nonchalant.

Poe bumps his shoulder against Finn’s. “That’s what I thought.”

-

Sometimes at night they walk around the grounds, out in the open air. Somehow Finn feels like it gives him more space to breathe, to think. He thinks about what he wants, and then thinks about how amazing it is that he _can_ want. He thinks about Rey, and he thinks about Poe. He imagines what his life could be, with them in it.

“How far away is Rey?” Finn asks, looking up at the stars. He imagines sometimes that he can see Ahch-To, that it’s a bright spot in the distance, and that maybe right at that same moment Rey is looking up and thinking of him, too.

“A long way,” Poe says. “A long, long way.”

Finn sighs. “I thought so.” It doesn’t matter, not really, because Rey is gone either way, but somehow the fact that she’s so very far away makes it seem worse.

“I miss her, too,” Poe says.

Impulsively Finn takes Poe’s hand and they walk like that together, beneath the night sky.

-

“Tell me about your planet,” Finn says. He likes to hear stories, about people, about the galaxy, about Poe. As a stormtrooper, curiosity and stories were discouraged at all cost. You learned what you were supposed to learn and did what you were supposed to do and that was that. He was always kept so busy that there was barely even time to think, let alone to wonder or ask questions or dream. He feels like there’s so much now that he wants to know, now that he can. He wants to know everything.

Poe is always happy to indulge him. He likes talking about the Rebellion, about the part his parents played in it, and he likes talking about his friends and about the Resistance. “Yavin Four? It’s a moon, actually, and it's hot. It’s so hot. But not like Jakku, it’s covered in jungle. The trees are so tall that sometimes you can’t even see the sky; you look up and all you can see is trees.”

“Sounds amazing.” Finn wondered if maybe he could see it someday, maybe Poe would take him and Rey and they could see where Poe had grown up. “I can’t remember my home planet.” Sometimes Finn would get an image in his mind, but it was always too fleeting for him to catch.

Poe looks sad but he says, “Maybe it’s better you don’t remember. Could’ve been somewhere horrible. Not everyone gets to be from Yavin Four.”

Finn is grateful for the levity. “True. I’m probably from some planet covered in swamps or something.”

“Couldn’t have been worse than Jakku, though,” Poe says, seeming startled as he finishes the sentence, almost as though he hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud.

Thinking of what Rey must have suffered in a lonely childhood on that miserable planet makes Finn feel sad, and also angry. He wants to keep Rey safe always, even if he isn’t sure she’d appreciate the sentiment. “No,” he says. “It couldn’t have been.”

Poe leans forward and brushes his knuckles against Finn’s cheek, just for an instant. “Only you would have the compassion to feel so genuinely sorry for Rey’s childhood when your own was…” He trails off.

Uncomfortable, Finn averts his eyes. “You brought it up, not me.”

“Yes, but my childhood was like a dream compared to yours and Rey’s. I had my family, and they loved me. I always knew that, always. Even when my mother--” Poe stops, swallows. “I had parents I idolized because they were heroes, and I used to play by a tree that grew from a cutting Luke Skywalkerhimself gave us.”Poe reaches forward again, using his fingertips to tilt Finn’s face towards his. “I had all that. And what did you have, that makes you feel like she suffered more than you?”

“I-- I don’t--” Finn doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what Poe wants him to say. He cares about Rey, that’s all, he cares about her so he worries about her; why would he worry about himself? He knows what his past was. He can’t change it.

He can’t change Rey’s past, either, but he can try to make up for it now.

“You’re still thinking about her,” Poe says.

“So what?” Finn says, defensive. “She’s my friend. Shouldn’t I think about her?”

“Sure. I think about her, too. I just wonder when you ever worry about yourself.”

 _As if you ever worry about yourself?_ Finn wants to say but doesn’t. Instead he says, “Don’t I have you for that?”

Poe blinks at him, and his eyes flicker down to Finn’s mouth, and back up to his eyes. He’s got that look on his face again, that one that makes Finn’s toes curl, except it’s worse now, Poe’s gaze is so intense and he’s _right there_ and Finn thinks _please, please, maybe I can be ready, I’m ready,_ and then Poe kisses him.

Finn knows what kissing is, obviously. He’s seen people do it. He’s thought about doing it. That’s the thing, though, he’s _thought_ about doing it, but he doesn’t know how, anything he knows he knows in theory only. So he doesn’t actually know what to do, but Poe’s mouth feels good on his and he thinks it’s fine if he just lets it be, if he just -

Poe pulls back and Finn has to stop himself from moving with him, chasing the feel of Poe’s lips.

“Sorry,” Poe says, and why the hell is he apologizing? “Sorry, I don’t… I just wanted to do that, even if it’s just the once.”

Poe presses his palm to Finn’s cheek and then leaves. Finn watches him go and it feels like something just aches within him; he wants to run after Poe and ask him to never leave, ever, but he doesn’t know if that’s the right thing to do.

He never knows what to do.

-

Poe kissed him, but nothing changes. Poe never mentions it, and he never tries to do it again, and Finn is too afraid to bring it up himself so it’s as if it never happened. It’s as if Finn doesn’t know how Poe’s lips feel against his, or how soft they are, or how he tastes.

Poe just looks at him the same as he used to, before, as if he’s someone special Poe would like to keep but doesn’t think he’s allowed to. As if he doesn’t believe that Finn would kiss him every day and still think it isn’t often enough.

Another transmission from Rey comes in. Finn and Poe speak to her together, Poe leaning over Finn’s shoulder, and it somehow feels different. It feels different from before because no matter how Poe behaves, they’re _different._ Things have changed, even if only in Finn’s head.

He wants to tell Rey, but he can’t. He can’t say it, not with Poe standing right there, and not… Finn is afraid how Rey will feel if she knows. He’s afraid she’ll think it means his feelings about her have changed when they haven’t. He still thinks Rey is the most amazing woman he’s ever met and he still looks at her mouth and wonders how it would feel. He wonders if kissing her would be like kissing Poe.

He wonders if he can’t have them both. The idea of it sounds so selfish and complicated and inconsiderate of what Poe and Rey themselves might want, but it’s what he _wants._He doesn’t want to choose.

He can’t choose.

-

When Rey returns, she brings Luke Skywalker with her.

They walk down the ramp together, the old Jedi and his young student, and Finn marvels at how somehow, despite all their outward differences, there’s something strangely similar about them, in the way they move. He looks at Luke and can’t help but wonder if this man was worth everything the Resistance suffered in order to bring him here. Everything Poe suffered, and Rey, and General Organa.

Finn waits for Luke to say something softly to Rey before leaving her, Chewie and R2-D2 going after him. They’re talking to each other, the man and the droid and the Wookiee, and a crowd of Resistance members is gathering to sweep them up, but Finn tunes it all out because Rey is standing there, waiting for him.

“Hey,” she says, grinning at him. “Told you I’d be back soon.”

Finn had words, he did, there were things he was planning to say to her, but as he looks at Rey it all goes out of his head. He can only think about how much he’s missed her, how much he wants them to never be separated again, and then instead of speaking he’s flung himself at her, kissing her on the mouth.

It isn’t the best kiss. Even Finn, with his limited experience, knows this. It’s too awkward and mostly Rey just stands there in surprise, but then she lifts her hands to Finn’s shoulders and it doesn’t matter if neither of them really know what they’re doing because Finn has wanted to do this for _so long,_ and it’s Rey, and he’s in love with her.

When Finn ends the kiss, Rey is flushed, but she looks happy, so happy, and Finn can’t stop smiling at her. Then Rey looks over Finn’s shoulder and he suddenly remembers that he hadn’t come by himself. Poe’s been watching them the whole time.

Poe masks the disappointment on his face but not quickly enough to keep Finn from noticing it, and though Poe forces a smile it’s falsely cheery and doesn’t reach his eyes.

He hugs Rey, though, and his pleasure at seeing her is clearly genuine. “We missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Rey says, and she keeps her gaze on Poe as she says it, as if to will him to believe that he’s important to her, too.

But when they walk, Poe lets himself fall behind Rey and Finn, a few steps after them as if it’s natural, when it isn’t, it isn’t at all. Finn wants them to all be together, he wants to hold both of their hands, but he doesn’t think Poe will let him, so he doesn’t try.

-

Poe makes excuses in the evening and doesn’t return to the room with Finn and Rey. BB-8 rolls after him, and even Finn can tell the little droid is worried about his master.

Finn is worried, too. “I knew it would turn into a mess,” he tells Rey as they both sit cross-legged on one of the beds.

“Are you sorry?” she asks, picking at the thin bedcover, and Finn doesn’t need any clarification.

“No,” he says, and means it. “But I’m sorry I hurt Poe.”

“Me, too.” After a moment she says, “Do you want to kiss Poe?”

Finn looks at Rey in surprise, then confesses, “I did kiss Poe. Or, he kissed me.”

Rey, on the other hand, doesn’t seem surprised at all. “He’s in love with you.”

Hearing Rey say it out loud only makes Finn feel worse. “I think I wrecked everything.”

“Do you love him?”

 _Yes,_ Finn’s gut is screaming at him to say. _Yes, yes, I do._ But he says, “I love you,” because that’s true, too.

Rey clasps his hand. “I know. I love you, too, you know that, right? But it’s okay if you… I know what Poe did for you. I know what he’s been for you. So it’s okay.”

Poe was the first person who ever cared about Finn, who showed him kindness, who treated him like he was important and special. Poe is warm and generous and funny, and he puts everyone else’s concerns and well-being before his own. He’s been a better friend than Finn could ever have hoped for. He doesn’t know what to say.

Rey is still holding his hand, and she’s looking down at their interlaced fingers rather than at Finn’s face. “He’s an easy sort of person to love,” she says softly.

Finn has to repeat Rey’s words in his head a few times until they start to make sense. “Wait, are you saying-- Do you--”

She still won’t look at him. “I never had a real home, before. And now I… My home is with you, wherever you are, and it’s where Poe is, too. You’re my home.”

This time Finn doesn’t wait. He throws his arms around Rey and holds her close, not really sure how this all happened but grateful all the same. “I love you so much,” he says.

“I know,” Rey says, her face tucked into his neck. “Let’s find Poe. Where do you think he is?”

“I know where he is,” Finn says.

-

They find Poe in Jessika Pava’s bunk, drinking. BB-8 tips his head at them and makes an anxious little sound.

“Well, we definitely weren’t just talking about you two,” Jess says.

“You’re the worst, Pava,” Poe says.

“Sure, say that _after_ you drink my best bottle of booze.”

“Can we borrow him?” Finn asks.

“Be my guest, if you can get him off his ass.”

“I’m not drunk,” Poe insists, but he gets to his feet somewhat less gracefully than usual. When Finn and Rey each move to support him, he seems vaguely confused by the attention.

Jess takes the half-empty bottle Poe had been holding and says, “This wasn’t meant to be drunk in such vast quantities this quickly, so keep that in mind if he says anything stupid. More stupid than usual,” she amends.

“Still the worst, Pava.”

“Love you too, Dameron.” She blows a kiss at him and looks down at BB-8. “I’ll watch him, shall I?”

BB-8 rushes towards Poe and hides by his shins, as if he won’t be separated. “Hey, now,” Poe says. “You like Pava, remember? Probably better than I do.”

Jess bends down and looks at the droid more on his own level. “It’s okay, buddy, let’s give ‘em some space, huh? I promise he’ll be fine. He’s with Rey and Finn.”

BB-8 seems mildly reassured by this and reluctantly moves away from Poe and from the door. He beeps what sounds almost a warning and Rey says, “We will,” while Poe just looks more confused and Pava laughs.

“I need to speak droid,” Finn mutters, and he leaves with Poe and Rey.

In the hall Poe wrenches himself out of their grip so he can walk along by himself. “I didn’t need you guys to find me, you know.”

Rey and Finn exchange a glance.

“I was trying to give you two some privacy, in case you wanted to…” Poe gestures expansively with his hands. “You know.”

Finn is blushing but Rey isn’t. “We know.”

“Just trying to be nice.”

“Yes, you’re always so nice,” Rey says, sounding almost annoyed. “You’re nice and kind and generous but you’re too dumb to see what’s right in front of your face!”

Poe blinks at her. “What?”

Rey huffs in impatience and then she just takes Poe’s face in her hands and kisses him, just like that.

It’s quick, just a brief, hard press of lips, and Poe is staring at her, and Finn is staring at them both.

Finally Rey looks unsure of herself. “I’m sorry, I… I shouldn’t have, you only like Finn--”

Her words get swallowed in a rush as Poe kisses her. It’s a far better kiss than their first, Finn can tell, and Rey sort of melts against Poe as he holds her.

“Still think I only like Finn?” Poe asks her.

Rey still seems faintly stunned, but a sort of protective reflex kicks in because she says, “You’re not just doing this because you’re drunk, are you?”

Poe’s smile is perfectly him, reassuring and gentle and kind, and a little self-deprecating. “Contrary to what Pava would have you believe, I’m not that drunk. Maybe just drunk enough not to be embarrassed.”

Finn isn’t sure why but an unstoppable rush of laughter builds up inside him until it just bursts out, and he can’t stop. He’s happy, he thinks, he’s happy and he can’t believe this is actually happening, and it’s slightly ridiculous, the entire thing, but he just loves them _so much._

Now they’re both staring at him, but then Poe laughs a little, too, and Rey is grinning, and Finn launches himself at them until they’re all just clinging to each other in a huddle. Poe kisses them each on their cheeks, first Finn and then Rey, and he says, “We maybe could have picked a better place to do this than in the hall,” and then, “Also I’m just wondering what General Organa would say if I asked her if the Resistance could find me a larger bed.”

Rey is snickering but Finn says, “Whoa, there, little quick to be going there yet, isn’t it?” He’s only half-kidding, but the part of him that isn’t kidding is sort of nervous.

But Poe says, “Geez, Finn, I don’t know where your mind is going but I was clearly referring to the platonic group cuddling we’re going to be having.”

“You’re such a dork,” Rey says and smacks him on the arm.

Finn looks at Rey, pretending to be annoyed but clearly so, so happy, and he looks at Poe, making stupid jokes so Finn will feel more comfortable, and he isn’t sure how he got this lucky but he is.

He is.

**_End_ **


End file.
